There was a video that I watched a while ago that really inspired me. The video was of Will Smith, the actor, talking about his first skydiving experience and something he said really spoke to me. After explaining the fear that he felt leading up to the jump and then the bliss he felt once he stepped out of the airplane, Will said, “God places the best things in life on the other side of terror. On the other side of your maximum fear are the best things in life.”

Wow!

Fear is a crazy thing. I mean, it makes sense to be afraid when you are out hiking and run into a mountain lion or bear… because, you know, they can eat you! It makes total sense to be afraid in that situation. What you do not want is for fear, at any time, to paralyze you. Even in the mountain lion or bear situation, if you get so afraid that you cannot move, fear can prevent you from doing what you need to do to live!

Fear can also keep you from having some of the most amazing experiences of your life! The fear of being hurt emotionally can keep you from experiencing the most amazing relationships. The fear of failure in business can keep you from experiencing financial freedom, time freedom, etc. That is what I consider to be an unreasonable fear. Yes, if you fail or if someone hurts you emotionally, it can be painful… but it won’t kill you. And what if you succeed? Or what if that person ends up being “the one”? Don’t get me wrong. I have experienced a lot of unreasonable fear in my life. Actually, I am still working through unreasonable fears! I think that is something that you have to work on your entire life.

What did I fear? I was afraid of opening my coaching / consulting business. I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of what people would think of me. I was afraid of not being able to support my family. For so many years, I let that fear paralyze me.

Now, honestly, I have been living my passion via various jobs I have had over the years. I have been helping organizations, teams, and individuals identify goals and develop action plans to reach those goals for the past 18+ years… and, honestly, I have loved it! But I let fear keep me from pursuing my own dream of helping others through my own business!

When I finally put things in motion and begin the journey towards my dreams, I had to conquer several fears… There was the fear that I felt around opening my LLC. I felt fear when I decided to get my Strategic Intervention certification from Robbins Madanes Training (Tony Robbins and Chloe Madanes) or the Success Principles certification (Jack Canfield) or getting my Life Coach certification. Hitting the submit button to pay for those certifications was completely scary for me. After all, they were expensive and would require a lot of time and commitment on my part. I thought, “What if I wasn’t able to complete the training or what if I didn’t get approved for the certification after all that time and effort? All that money would be wasted!” I am happy to say that with a lot of hard work and the complete support of my amazing family, I received those certifications! What a feeling of accomplishment! Honestly… Why had I been so afraid? Yes, it was hard. Yes, it took a lot of effort. But it was totally worth it! I just wish I would have done it YEARS earlier!

You know what I have learned through all of these fears that I pushed through? Every time I conquer a fear, it gets easier to conquer the next fear! And the next! And the next! I have stepped out of my comfort zone so many times over the past few years and, really, in my life. That is what it takes! Start with baby steps if you have too. If fear is holding you back from realizing your dream, you have got to push past the fear. I know that you will find, just like I have, that it is normal to feel the fear but the rewards on the other side of your maximum fear… are the best things in life. I am realizing my dream of helping others reach for success. It is the most rewarding feeling! The words of thanks that I have received has been my inspiration to keep pushing past the fear.

You can achieve almost any goal you have if you are willing to do what it takes, including pushing past the fear. Don’t let fear be one of your excuses for not reaching your goals. Brian Tracy states in his book, No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline, that “There are only three requirements for success. First, decide exactly what it is you want in life. Second, determine the price that you are going to have to pay to get the things that you want. And third, and this is most important, resolve to pay that price.” Are you willing to push through fear as part of that price? I highly recommend that you do!

What fears have you overcome lately? And what reward was on the other side of that fear? To encourage others to push past their fears, please post a comment and share your successes!

A big part of our lives consists of habits. Whether it is a morning routine or a bedtime routine, these habits can help you or hinder you. For example, if you play games on your phone before bed, it may take longer to fall asleep because you either play games longer than you planned or because you can’t shut your brain down … or both. On the other hand, if you set a consistent time to wake up in the morning, then work out and have a healthy breakfast, you are starting your day on a positive note. That’s good! Think about some of your daily habits. Are they positive and healthy? Will they lead you toward your goals? Or are they unhealthy and destructive and lead you away from where you want to be in life?

If you research successful people, you will see that they have habits that help them accomplish their goals. They do things every day that make a positive impact on their future. Over the years, I have read a LOT articles, blogs and books that focus on what successful people do every day. For fun, I decided to keep track of what many of them were saying and here is what I found:

Plan Your Day

Successful people not only write down their goals and focus on them daily but they also map out what they are going to do the next day before they go to bed. Of course, life doesn’t always happen according to plan but, when you start with a plan, it is easier to adjust your day as needed without losing momentum. Many articles also mention that when you map out your day the night before, your brain focuses on that plan while you sleep which helps you stay focused on your goals and get more done during the day.

It also helps if you prioritize your action items for the day so that you are doing the things that will give you the biggest bang for your buck in the morning when you have the most energy. Select 2-3 things that you have to get done for the day and focus on those things first… and don’t stop until they are done.

Meditation

I noticed in my research that many successful people meditate on a daily basis. There are a few different ways that you can meditate. You can use the time to clear your brain by focusing on your breathing. Some people use the time to visualize their goals or focus on positive incantations, which can improve mood and clarity. What I have found works for me is to have a quote that really inspires me and repeat that several times during my meditation. The quote might be about business, physical or relationship goals… Whatever I feel like focusing on that day. I find a quiet spot and I repeat it to myself for the first 5-7 minutes and then I transition to focusing on my breathing for the last 5-8 minutes. It can take several months for your brain to stop wondering off and thinking about other things, but that’s ok. I have found that having quiet time for even 15 minutes a day (sometimes twice a day) to reflect on career, health and relationships has helped reduce stress. After meditating for even 10 minutes, I feel more centered and calm which helps me focus on the task at hand.

Workout

Another success habit that was mentioned a lot is making health a priority. Some included both a daily workout as well as a nutritious diet, although most focus on the workout. Research shows that working out can boost creativity and productivity. Everyone knows the benefits of a good workout and a healthy diet so I won’t go into too much detail on this one. I am sure that you have heard time and time again… nutrition and exercise have a positive affect on every area of your life, from your mood, to your energy levels, to sleep and digestion and everything in between.

I have found that a morning workout energizes me for the rest of the day. My advice is to pick an exercise that you enjoy. It can be as simple as a morning walk or a bike ride or weight training. You can choose yoga, swimming, skiing, jogging or a combination of two or more of these. Exercise will also help you sleep better at night, which leads me to the next success habit…

Get Enough Sleep

Getting enough sleep is critical to your mental health and memory function. If you are not a morning person, you are my people. I am a night owl, NOT a morning person. I have found that, when planning the next day’s activities, if I give myself something to look forward to, it is much easier to get out of bed before the sun comes up. I have also learned that hitting snooze only gives me time to think about how tired I am and reasons why I should not get up… so, if you struggle with this as well, put the alarm clock on the other side of the room so you are forced to get out of bed and then do not let yourself get back in bed once you turn it off!

Make sure you have a good bedtime routine so that your body and your brain are ready to go to bed at least eight hours before the alarm goes off. Do not turn on the TV or spend time on your phone or tablet once you are in bed. You can even test how much sleep your body needs…go to bed at the same time every night and let yourself sleep until you wake up. Your body may need to catch up on sleep so you may find that you sleep later the first few days. Once your body catches up on the sleep it needs, you will wake up when your body is rested. This helps you get a better idea of how much sleep that you need every night. So, for example, if you go to sleep at 10pm every night and you naturally wake up at 8, 9 or 10am for a few days and then start waking up at 5am without an alarm, that means that your body needs about seven hours of sleep every night to be fully refreshed.

Self Development

Successful people are always focused on continuous learning. There is always room for personal growth. Whether it is learning new skills, reading, watching podcasts, or interviews, there is a plethora of information out there. I read somewhere that Mark Cuban reads three hours a day. Bill Gates, who’s net worth is $86 billion, reads an hour a day and Elon Musk used to read four hours a day when he was younger!

Learning is a continuous, life long effort. You can also learn from biographies, history and self-help books. Pick a topic that you are interested in and you will be more likely to follow through with this. I love that my Kindle filters what I highlighted so I can easily see what I felt was important or resonated with me. I even highlight different items in different colors. So, for example, if it is something that really speaks to me, I will highlight it in yellow. If it is something that I can use during my coaching sessions, I highlight it in blue. Quotes I like are highlighted in pink, and so on. Use what makes sense to you and helps you keep track of your ah-ha’s.

Success comes down to the decisions that you make every day. Successful people do things EVERY DAY that get them closer to accomplishing their goals. They do things that make a positive impact on their future every day. Not just when they feel like it. Every. Day.

How do you implement success habits? Here are a few steps that will help you get started:

• Write a list of all the things that you eventually want to implement as success habits. An example of positive morning habits would include getting up 60-90 minutes early to work out and eat a healthy breakfast. If you already do that, you could choose to add 10-20 minutes of meditation or read for 30 minutes. At night, you might choose to read before bed, stretch, or write 5-10 things you are grateful for in your journal.
• Choose 1-2 habits from your list as a starting point. So, for example, I wasn’t being consistent with my exercise program so I decided to get up 60 minutes earlier every morning and workout. I ride my bike for 30 minutes every morning and include about 20 minutes of weight lifting 3-4 times a week.
• Do this success habit every day for at least 30 days. Tip: I have found that it helps to have a calendar and cross off the days that I complete all my success habits. I like seeing all the bright X’s… and the more X’s I see, the more motivated I am not to break the chain!
• After 30 days, add another success habit … like eating a healthy breakfast
• After 30 days, add another success habit … like reading for 30 minutes every night
• After 30 days, add another success habit … like eating a healthy dinner

These habits may be uncomfortable at first. It may not feel natural and you may need to set an alarm to remind yourself to read before bed, for example. For me, getting up 60 minutes early is the one that I picked to tackle first because I am not a morning person.

Think about the power of adding on at least one new success habit on the first of every month. Can you imagine what life could be like after a year of adding even ONE success habit a month? You could have 12 new positive habits after a year. If they are health/nutrition habits, you could finally have a healthy body and amazing energy. If they are financial habits, you could be debt free or traveling to places you have never been.

If you have already put success habits into play in your life, feel free to comment below and share what they are and how they have positively affected your life!

There are several reasons why people don’t reach their goals. What keeps them stuck in the same place, day after day?

FEAR

Don’t let the fear of a little discomfort or what other people will think of you stop you from your ultimate happiness.” – Lori Harder

Fear is the biggest of all the goal crushers. It can be absolutely crippling. Fear can keep you in that rut you have been in for the last year. It can keep you in that same dead-end job that you hate. It can keep you from stepping out of your comfort zone and it can steal your dreams. Let’s be honest here. Fear is nothing more than your imagination running wild. Choosing to live in fear is a choice. Your choice… but you can make a different choice!

How do you beat fear? One way to overcome your fear is to imagine two scenarios. First, think of something that you are scared of doing and ask yourself, “What if I do this and it all goes wrong? What is the worst-case scenario?” The only thing that you cannot learn from – or recover from – is death. (Obviously, if your worst-case scenario is death… please rethink taking that step!) Everything else is a potential life lesson. Learn from those life lessons and try again. Second, ask yourself, “What if I do this and it all turns out great?” Those awesome outcomes are your WHY! Focus your thoughts on what can go right and your brain will do its best to make those thoughts a reality!

Another really good way to work through your fears is to take daily action toward your goal. That daily action can be large or small, many actions or one single action – As the saying goes, even if you were to take one swing at a tree with an axe every day, sooner or later that tree will fall. Take at least one action EVERY DAY toward your goal and eventually, you will be successful.

You will beat that fear that was standing in your path. When you beat it once, you will build your confidence and be more prepared to face it again and again. You will become addicted to the amazing feeling of facing your fears head on and conquering them one by one.

NO PLAN

It doesn’t matter what you are doing, if you don’t have a plan, it is much harder to reach that end goal. Whether you are remodeling your kitchen, writing a book, or taking your business to the next level, you have to have a detailed plan to get it done. Sure, you might eventually experience some success without a plan but I guarantee it will take longer and potentially cost more money if you don’t think it through, document and prioritize the steps that need to be taken.

How do you build a strong plan? First, you will want to brainstorm everything that needs to be done. I usually use Post-it notes and put each step on a separate note. Next, you will want to put the steps in the order that they need to be done. For example, you don’t want to install new appliances in your new kitchen before you paint the walls or finish the floor. Next, put a timeline to your plan. Each step needs a due date so you have a good idea when to order the appliances, etc.

NO TIME

I get it. Life happens.

How do you find the time? Once you have a plan to reach your dream, schedule time on your calendar to work your plan and commit to that schedule. Seriously. Block off time on your calendar for everything that you need to do (including family time, date nights, etc.) and then honor those times! If you only have 30 minutes a day to work your plan, stay focused for those 30 minutes. Athletes, for example, know exactly what hours they will train every day, when they will have lunch and dinner, and when they will rest. Get that detailed. Schedule time for working your plan, for research or reading, for rest, for working out and if you need to, for meals. If you don’t plan for it, it will be too easy to say, “I will do it later.” Before you know it, “later” becomes a week, a month, a YEAR! Be smart and disciplined with your time.

One important note: Share your schedule with your family so they understand and have clear expectations for when you are working your plan. They can help you stay focused by understanding the schedule and not distracting you from the dreams that you have for yourself and your family.

THE NEED FOR PERFECTION BEFORE ACTION

“You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward” – unknown

I have fallen victim to this one several times in my life. Yes, you need to have a plan, but don’t wait for it to be perfect.

How do you fight the need to be perfect? Let’s face it. Nothing will ever be perfect. Someone will always find something that could have been said differently or that could have been added or shouldn’t have been said at all. The biggest thing that has helped me is to give myself a deadline. I do everything that I can up to that deadline and then I put the report down, save the presentation, send that email, or press that publish button. If you focus and do all that you can to make things as close to perfect as you can … If you did your pre-work, you will be fine.

“Success doesn’t just come and find you. You have to go out and get it.” – unknown

There is no such thing as luck. There is only hard work. If you want the life of your dreams, you must do the work because your dream is not just going to fall in your lap. (At least not for the majority of us.) If you are not where you want to be, there are no excuses! It is all in the choices that you make every day. Take 100% responsibility for your life and where you are right now. You can choose to stand still or you can choose to take action. If you are ok with standing still. Take responsibility for the fact that you probably won’t reach that goal. If you are not ok with where you are, take that first step toward your goal. Then the next. And the next. And the next. Because…

You are not a tree!